Monkey Mind Chow

Cocaine found in space shuttle hangar
PAAARTAAAY! They stashed the hookers in the cockpit and the kegs in the shuttle bay. To bad they didn't invite Steve from mission control, I know he has a tendency to piss in the punch bowl when drunk but man when he feels slighted he calls the cops about party's.

China fires back at cyber attack charge
"Baby my doctor said it wasn't a problem, those little bumps aren't herpes!" said China to Google. "We clean, you must of got that from someone else."

'Miracle on Hudson' plane up for auction 
Who wants a flooded broken plane. Alright so it's history but really come on.

Air France changes policy for heavy passengers
The french thumb their nose at Americans seeing as how a third of us are are obese. Little Napoleon over at Air France is toasting with Baguettes and Wine on how they can make America poor.  Cause who doesn't want to sit next to Jabba the Hutt as he drools on your shoulder?

Company offers to stop putting biblical references on military scopesEvery time they get a head shot the soldiers can shout "Boyah I went biblical on your ass!" Do we really need to make these soldiers think they wield a powerful weapon of Jesus against the infidels. Come on we're trying to heal relations between Christians and Muslims not take it to a whole new level.

Dad said what?
Hey not thanks for the election but rather look at my sweet thang daughters, their single!


Supreme Court eases restrictions on corporate campaign spending
Oh sweet. I can now buy my own election. Confusion and trickery lets get it on. The way I see it we can now make up phony groups and have them announce their support for a politician.